Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
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