He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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