i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Randomize
