It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
Randomize
