her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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