Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
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