hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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