This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Randomize
