You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
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