She's JV to your varsity
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Randomize
