Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
