Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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