giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
