Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize