I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
