Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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