We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
