I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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