It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
