And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Randomize
