in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
