You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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