It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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