My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
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