when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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