Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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