Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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