My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
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