I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
