I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Randomize
