meet me or not, i'm out of control
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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