I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
A+ Viking dick
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize