ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
