Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
