The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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