seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
