Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
