We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
