He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
