Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
