This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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