they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
