He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
