just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Randomize
