College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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