she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Randomize
