we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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