apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
