So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
