I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
