god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
