We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Randomize
