See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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