i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
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