I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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