dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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