I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize