I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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