I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
