She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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