he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
