i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
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i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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