come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
