You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
