he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Randomize