dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
