I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
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I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
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I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
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