How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
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